I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Who died my cat blue again?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
