Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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