Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Who did Billy Mays play for?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
