Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
