nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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