Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
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