i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
