ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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