it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
