Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
