I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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