We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
