What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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