This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
