This is not my ceiling
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Randomize
