i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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