When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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