God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
