you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
