So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
