please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize