how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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