I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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