your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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