You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
