you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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