Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
