I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
3 2 1 whiskey
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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