Don't you send me to vm
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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