There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
