i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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