Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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