There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
