found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
