Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
