So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Life is so much better after having sex.
Everything about him screamed your future.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
