His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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