Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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