I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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