I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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