Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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