i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
