Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Randomize
