Already got asked if we're dating
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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