We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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