Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
