I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
