Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
