pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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