I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm bleeding and have questions
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