I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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