Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
