I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
