i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize