Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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