I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
