like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize