The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
vagina is talking i cant
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
