she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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