Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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