hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
